silly statement of the day.

"I need some DeCaff." No one needs DeCaff... you only want DeCaff (for some reason that I don't understand). Saying that you 'need decaff' is like saying "man I'm fucked up on this non-alcoholic beer" or "damn I'm totally addicted to these nicotine free herbal cigarettes."

this post is brought to you from the onomatopoeia "sigh"

So. I wrote Lindsay an email yesterday and she wrote back. And it made me oddly mellancholy. Something she said about trying to watch Freaks and Geeks but getting sad because it reminded her of Kevin just made me a little sad. Borders was a strange place because the people I worked with were, almost to a man, awesome. And we had some really great times (I can hear Kevin reading the "every fucking friday evening" from my mind). but there were many.... many... many crappy parts. Actually, I suppose all the crappy parts boil down to 3 things: low pay, no respect, retarded policies/managers. that being said, I seriously doubt I will ever have that great a time with that many great people again. Sigh.... Ive been slightly weirded out recently by the fact that next year I will probably be moving away from Columbus. There is basically no way that OSU will accept me into their program. And what's odd about that is that finally, after 4 years living here, I'm starting to feel like there are things I like about Columbus. I mean, the fact that I have no family or friends here sucks.... but I love my coffee shop. I love riding my bike to most places I need to go. I like Grandview. I just wish that anyone who may be reading this could be here too.
Stauf's is really my kind of place because it is just a place to go and hang out. I hate sitting in my apartment. I ahve always hated just sitting in the house. Well, here I sit... i read... I work... all things I could do at home, but I just like being here. I feel much more comfortable here than in my apartment. I feel much more like this is a 'home' for me and my apartment is just a place a stay. I used to just hang out with my friends. we didnt really 'do' all that much; we just kinda sat around... maybe played some scrabble, shot the shit, drank coffee...
and then... all that vanished. now everyone needs to do something. they need an excuse to be out. they would rather be at home. I usually need more of an excuse to be at home (want to be with the family, drunk, wow).
That being said... one of my fucked up juxtopositions in life is that if not pushed (either by myself or by someone else) I won't break routine.... so, stauf's is my 'home' where i am comfortable hanging out... but then people suggest we do somethign out of the routine and my first reaction is 'ummmm... well.' I try, when i realize that I'm doing that, to do the opposite (george costanza style)... but its tuff.

Columbus does have that major down side of 'no friends here.' I have work buddies. i have people i know... but i dont have anyone that i'd really call 'friend.' sigh...
on that note... i find it interesting that I have several long distance friends right now... Kevin. Jason... Mike... Andrew... people I never see (or rarely)... but I talk to....
I used to think it was diffficult to maintain friendships when you never see people... but id say that my relationships with jason, kevin, and andrew are pretty damn strong... I wonder why that is?/???? Did I change from a hang out friend to a phone friend? hrmmm... (not that I talk to andrew all that much... but, because of my brief dabble in insanity... I can easily call him a better friend that i think most people with brothers that are 7 years their junior.)
My research is going less well than I had hoped at this point. Its just very slow and frustrating because I dont feel like I'm getting all that I can. Oh well... i think my profs are happy with it, so that's good.
I'm not sleeping much right now... i feel like calvin and trying to pack as much into every day as possible.
I've rambled quite a bit here... i actually need to do something constructive. taaaaa

This post is brought to you by the phrase: "new computer"

SO I actually think that this pic of Daniel Johnston came out really well. I like it. I suppose that, conventionally, it is blurry or whatever. But it was exactly what I was going for, actually. I like blurry. I dont like flashes. And I like that there are 3+ of him there.

The concert was a great time.... but I have to admit that the best part was seeing a bunch of people rather than seeing the music. I mean, Daniel was good. and crazy as always. But, in reality, the parts I like best were just talking to Kevin, Mike, Mike, Maggie, and Karen. Speaking of...



Karen is (apparently) a cafe worker who came around after I 'retired' from the big B. She seemed pretty cool. I love this picture of her and Mike. I mean, i wish that I had a more clear pic, so I could show what she actually looks like, but, at the same time, I love how this pic came out. Its like (as Kevin said) Karen is moving thru time.

speaking of Karen... what's up with meeting people named Karen all of a sudden. I mean, growing up, I didn't know anyone named Karen... now, I know more than several. where did they all come from? Why didn't I get the message?

So, this past weekend I was at home for mom's day. now i'm back, and sending emails to every state begging for info on election contests. we shall see how profitable it is. This weekend was pretty good, tho. Andrew donated me his old computer (you rock andrew) and thats a good thing, since my dell rarely turns on now. I went to that concert (I just wish it had been a bit longer). the only dissapointing this is that I keep meaning to read more of my books, but I just haven't been doing that. Oh well, that starts today. soooo, yeah... I'm off like a dirty shirt.

a brief thought

I swear, if I ever have kids, I will NOT talk to them like they are retarted dogs. With big eyes and dumb intonation. fuck that. My kid's going to be a super genious because I'm going to talk to him/her like he/she is a person.

Live Free or DIE IN A PUDDLE OF YOUR OWN URINE AFRAID OF FACING THE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING A MAN

So. I just read a rumor that die hard may get cut down to pg-13. And that, my friends, is a travesty. I've been relatively excited about Die Hard 4. The trailers really do look cool. But I'm very--very--skeptical. I mean, it just sounds wrong. John McClair fighting...Computer Hackers!??!?! I dont fucking think so. I mean, the only way these computer hackers could be cool is if they were genetically bred from an unholy concoction of the genes of Hans Gruber and the Predator. But my guess is that they are just slick dressed metrosexuals in armani suits. And John McClain will have to kill... all of them. And it should be blood and there should be tons of swearing... and maybe some boobs. But at Pg-13, it is doubtful that we will even hear Yippie Kai Ya Mother Fucker! and that is unforgivable. If you studio fucks over at Fox are reading this. Dont do it. just dont. Make this movie what it should be: A kick ass, hardcore summer action flick. Think Bad Boys 2. Think Die Hard 1. Make the movie. Make it!!!! Dont fucking Pussy it out. If you do, you will be worse than George Lucas. Seriously. Die Hard is that sacred. John McClain Jumped off a building with a hose wrapped around his waist. John McClain is a badass. John McClain is R rated.

evidence

well... its done. that's all I can say. I think I may have fucked up. I dont know how badly. It irks me because I study so hard and I think I know it, but then test time comes and I choke. fucking damn. say a prayer for me, Nana.

so very sooon

tminus 1hr50min till evidence and my tummy is super upset. ugh... wish me luck

hrmmmmm...

No pic today either. I just dont have the time. And I doubt you want to see either a picture of either me reading my notes or the rain in columbus. T-minus 2 days until evidence. 5 days until trademark... and freedom. I can't wait. even tho I need to buy a new laptop at some point, I'm tres excited about this summer. I can't wait to just research and read and study for GREs... that all sounds awesome. Things here are okay. I'm tired today. I didn't really sleep that much--dreamt about exams and stuff. I'm pretty much living on powerbars these days. I can eat them and dont have to take time away from studying. I shouldnt really be writing this right now, but I need a couple of minutes away from evidence. Actually, I'm about to take more than a couple of minutes away and I'm going to work on trademark.

A while ago I mentioned that I'd like to change the format of the blog a little. Id like to add more personal observations, more creativity, more something.... thats going to happen... but not until after monday. ugh... im so ready to be done. and just one more year and I'll be done for good. thanks god.

Testing 1...2...3

So I'm trying out this scribe fire thing.  I like the whole ability to post without having to load up blogger, but I can't quite figure out how to load a pic from here.  i tried and faild, and may try again... but probably not until next week.



so my computer is fucked.  it is giving me tons of shit.  tons of shit.  and I'm terrified that it is going to crap out on my for this exam period.  i need to take my exams on computer.  if I dont, bascially im fucked.... so very scared. 



Sitting in Panera rigth now.... doing some trademark....  I think they just kicked up the music reaal loud and some people just sat next to me who are obnoxious.  I wouldnt be here, Id be in stauf's, but I actually have to go to class today.  well, its actually an optional class... but i want to go there.  i like Simmons.  Oh god, please let me get an A just so I can ask him for a recommendation.



Tminus 4 days until evidence exam.  6 until trademark.  gotta get back to work.  please hold out here computer.  oh god please.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Happy Family Fire Pot

This post is dedicated to all my friends out there who may be reading this. I realized a few things about my good friends that separates them from sorta run of the mill people I know. You'll know who you are as soon as I start writing about this. First, my bestest friends are not scared off by my rabid geekiness. I realize that I am a geek thru and thru. The things I like I LOVE; the things I hate I HATE!!! But what's a little weird for me is that this seems to scare people off. And I don't quite get that, but people seem to be bothered when I start going off on some movie that I love (yes... this often means Star Wars.... but really, I feel passionately about a lot of other things).... And people seem genuinely bothered by my feelings... but i dont get it.... that's just me... but see, Kevin, Andrew, you guys aren't scared... That's just me... I think its part of my charm. I mean, I think more people should have acqute feelings. People who tend to be wishy washy annoy me. People especially find it strange when I go off about how much I hate something. This I understand better. People generally dont like to hear things ripped apart... But hey... that's me... If you are on my bad side, you're fucked.

Another quality of my friends (and another thing that seems to weird people out) is my tendency to say a lot of things that think are jokes, but people often think I'm serious. Its my delivery... I tend to say things jokingly more seriously than I say jokes, i guess... but that's whats nice about you guys... you keep up with me... I may switch from "DUDE, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO" whatever to something on a totally different topic back to whatever... then on... Andrew, I expect you to keep up.... after all you've known me forever.... But Kevin, I think that's why our conversations seem odd to observers... because we continually switch topics, levels of seriousness, whatever....

Any way.... These are my rambeling thoughts... Andrew wrote that I'm much less difficult to get along with than I think I am. I guess he's right... I try really hard to be nice. but I do think that my personality is ultimately hard to swallow. I just dont have boring/basic emotions... I just don't. I have huge emotions... Im a geek. I love it. I love getting DEEP into things... and I dont see myself changing... and Im happy about that... Andrew and I dont change.... we stay pretty constant... the world changes around us....... I like that. Growing up doesnt have to mean giving up. This guy at school today was talking about work and jokingly was talking about playing softball with his firm over the summer (that part is tru. they have a summer league). And he said somethign about getting what it would be like if he got yelled at by his boss for not turning a double play. And he said he'd just take it. I wouldn't. I turn and say fuck you and leave... that is what we should stand for.... He said yeah, but i have a family and I need a job and the money and shit. and I say, you need yourself before anything. you'll find another job... fuck assholes and fuck any job where you have to suck dick just to make a pay check... I'm never going to be a lawyer.

wow... where did that come from?

Im pretty tired... I need to do a little more school work before going to bed....ugh

so it goes

Kurt Vonnegut Died last night at the age of 84. He was, without a doubt, my favorite American Author. Funny, sarcastic, sad, biting, powerful, and dead-on accurate, he was a genius. You will be missed, Mr. Vonnegut.

Its crunch time here at school. I think I'm all done on April 30... which means that I will blow out of here immediately, drive up to Meadville, get tanked with Andrew, turn around, drive to cleveland, sleep, then probably have to drive back to cbus to start work. At some point in there I probably have to send my computer to dell to have to fixed, buy BC, rot my life away for a while, start studying for the GRE (again), and figure out some time to rest.

I bought an XBLA game yesterday. It is a rhythm game. And its pretty cool. I wish I had some acid to drop while playing it, because it would be nuts. You have to press buttons on the controler when it tells you and that shoots off pretty fireworks as the camera pans all around and colors and sounds and BOOM!!!! yeah.

Its odd being here at Law school when you're not going to be a lawyer. People keep saying "when you're in practice..." or "when you take the bar..." or other junk like that. And at some point, I'm going to stand up and say, "nope. sorry. not going to happen..."


I kinda scheduled the other day. I say kinda, because basically need to fix a bunch... so who knows what i'll actually be taking next year. My main hope is that the year isnt a huge pain in the ass. Oh, and that I get into some grad school.... dreams...

speaking of dreams... someone I was talking to the other day had actually seen dreams. my friend Norree.... I was thoroughly impressed. She even liked the same dream that I did.... The one with the mountain climbers... odd..... not many people I bump into have any idea what that movie is... indeed, barely anyone I know has seen seven samurai. I got into an argument with someone who hadn't heard of rashomon and refused to believe that it is one of the best movies ever made..... well, it is.

any way... more work ahead...

Prom

I've decided to change the focus of this blog a bit. normally it is just filled with me bitching. I so often need an outlet to just complain, and the blog fits that role perfectly.... and it will continue to fill that. But I think I'm going to try to start writing my general thougths/observations in it. Which pretty much means that its going to be even less interesting to people than normal. But hey. whatever.
So last night was prom. and, once again, it was hella fun. I drank a little too much (I didnt really want to drink anything at first) but not a lot too much... .I danced... and then I went to bed. unfortunately, however, this weekend has been a bust for trying to get work done. Nothing is getting done this weekend because of all these other things going on. oh well... and now the end of the year progress begins fo' real. (could that be faux real?).
I have full time work over the summer. Prof. Foley gave me 40 hours/week between him and Huefner. So that's awesome.
Mike is officially working in Iowa for John Edwards. Its sad to see him leave. Not that I see Mike much any more.... but he will always forever be my oldest friend. No matter how much he may annoy me at time (and I him, I'm sure), I think we will always be friends.... So its a little sad to think that he is not one minute away any more. So I'm posting a pic of mike and becky. Shes nice.... I hope they are in it for a long time. Who knows... but I hope the best for them
Its pretty out right now.... I want to leave..... I've had this window open for like 6 hours now, and I'm finally finishing the blog post. sigh....
Work just isnt working this evening. I wish it were, but I can't seem to focus good... oh well...
I dont like april fools day. All my sights a visit are doing fake posts... I dont know what to trust. Someone should tell /. that I want real fucking tech news... not bullshit.
Any hoo..... trying to work

blah.... back to school soon

Icky. tomorrow school starts up again. And only 4 weeks until its all over. I'm done 4-30. that's craziness. I've never been out of school in april. craziness. Any way, things here are gorgeous. Insanely nice out. I've done some good work today.... I've been trying to prepare for the end of the year. And evidence is comming along decently. Time to start working on TMs, I guess. Any way... this break was highly unentertaining. i've basically worked every day as if I actually had school. I had this take home exam to do. and i did it. and im highly scared that it sucks. I dont know anything about business stuff... oh well... I did see 3 movies last week. Inland Empire (can't wait to see it again), TMNT (fun fun stuff) and the host (that's like my 3rd Korean flick. I need more.) but way too much work
And spent money. Dell basically tells me that my 'puter is fucked and I need to do somethign very costly to fix it... that's obnoxious. how about, dell, you just build a decent computer from the get go.... why does it have to suck so much?
I only have part time work over the summer, so I'm going to apply to borders and see if they'll give me a few more hours. that may actually be fun... but damn, so many expenses over the summer
totally fed up with law school... beyond fed up

Every time I think I'm over my thing for Karen, it creeps up again. I was talking to her yesterday, and my stupid stomach was all a flutter.... what the fuck? Usually I'm so much better at casting off crushes.... but, aparently not this one. I chalk it up to being lonely
I'm starting to worry about myself more. i haven't been this continually depressed since I was at oberlin. the bad times. no, mind you, im not nearly as depressed as I was back then (read: not crying every day), but I basically down a lot. ugh... just lonely. And, i've caught myself doing something that I used to do.... saying things in my head, but not actually SAYING them..... I always thought that was fucked up... ugh....
any way... I know the problem. I want my own life. I feel like my life is still my parent's life. I have never divorced myself from home. I still call home home.... my aparentment is my room, usually... I dont know.....I'm just lonely
Ive been thinking about shaving my head recently. it might happen. not now, but some time.

there's really something I love about the tag function in blogger

I feel like I'm always waiting for something to happen. I feel like I'm always living inside my own head... I feel... i dont know.

Today's pic is outside of my apartment at like 730am. when I woke up, the sun looked totally rad (and red) so I tried to take a pic... oddly, that is not how I thought it looked when I was taking the pic... but I looks cool any way. of course, didn't have my glasses on... so that could have had somethign to do with it.

god I hope I get into grad school..... god please...

Is it me???

I ran this theory by Jason, and he seemed to like it... so I'm going to propose it to the internet world. I have always considered my self an acquired taste--and its something I like about myself. Like beer or coffee, you may not like me the first time you try me. In fact, you may not like me the second time you try me. And diluted-me (read: coffee with milk and sugar or lite beer) is for sissies and you dont get the true me. But, with time, many people actually like the slightly intoxicating nature of me, and get used to me. Unfortunately, like many things that rock, too much of me and you can get sick. you need to build up your immunity to me, like iocane powder. Any way, what does any of this have to do with duckies? Well... here's the thing... I think that this acquired taste-ness of me (and Jason, and indeed most of the people I actually call friends) makes finding a girl really difficult. we are a bit hamstrung. because, what happens is that the girl doesnt want to go out with me right away... then, over time she realizes that she likes Stephen quite a bit... but, by that time, i've become...... A DUCKIE!!!! yup... "just a friend." "That kookie friend with the awesome fashion sense." The guy who totally gets fucked up the ass at the end of pretty in pink. As jason said, he had to settle for some other chick. Duckie wanted Andie. He DESERVED Andie. Rumor has it that if he had been played by Robert Downie Jr. he would have gotten Andie. Instead, he had to settle. What the fuck is up with that?

Any way... why all this... well... being a natural Duckie is both rewarding and frustrating. First, being an original... a unique person... an individual... is something I value more than almost anything. You can see that from those people I call "friend" (and not work/school buddy). And you can see why some people Iknow frustrate me so much... because they are happy being sheep... but I think the hazzard of being what I am--what we are--is this problem in the love department. We either become Duckies, or they dont like us, or they die from too much exposure (iocane powder is quite deadly).

I think these things have something to do with why, whenever I try to get someone to like me, it just doesnt work. its because, like coffee, or beer, or iocane powder, people have to try me willingly... and push thru the initial shock..... to get the alcohol/caffiene goodness

sigh... john hughes fucked all us duckies out there..... he should have had him get andie at the end of that movie... then, maybe i'd have more hope... maybe.

perhaps the trick is to find the female equivalent of duckie. is there one? I dont think annie potts counts.... not really anyway.

im not going to change any time soon. hell, its part of the reason i can never be an attorney... I cant settle... I just wont do it. Im not capable of giving up my free thoughts and conforming. I dont want to. Id rather die. maybe im being childish... but that's only because everyone else gives up and settles... I think that's dumb... not 'adult' or some shit like that....

any way... very tired... did much work today.... must go to bed

sigh

So, I obviously didnt take this pic. But I've had Sarah Silverman on the brain recently, so I figured i'd post a pic of her... She's so cute. And there is something that is so hot about a girl with as dirty a mouth as her. It ramps her hottness up just another level.
Any way, things are a little stinky here. I feel really bad because I went off on my mom today about my unhappy I am. I'm really goign to try not to call her to complain anymore. I so dont want my mom to be the person I turn to for support any more. But I just got pissed off and depressed and frustrated, so I called my. ugh. Any way... It's hard to explain, but I'm sick and tired of how lawyers think. I'm taking this class on friday saturday and sunday and I picked up the syllabus. And in it it "expressly prohibits" us from reading a few cases. It threatens us with failing and (for an honor code violation) it could difficult to get barred and in fact you could be booted out of the school. All if you were to decide to do extra work. for greater understanding. fuck law school. I can't believe they threaten you to prevent you from doing extra learning outside of class. fuckers. GAAAAHHHH!!! why threaten. I'd feel better if it just said "dont' read it. We will discuss the theories of the case in class. But I don't want you to read it before hand, because I want you to come to the answers yourself." But it didnt say that. Instead, it threatened me with expulsion. that mother fucker.
not a day goes by where i dont think about dropping out of law school

Im so frustrated. i just pray that I actually get into a grad program. Because if i dont, im fucked. because I wont be a lawyer and I wont be a student... so i'll just be a failure. fuck.
alright...... this was a bad post
im just lonely. ive been pretty much depressed and lonely for the past 3 weeks straight. even with other people, ive still been lonely. people around here.... i just don feel any sort of connection to. its not columbus. its not cbus' fault. but i dont really think its my fault either. I dont know....
im stopping. this was not a fun post. sorry

And I resume the struggle

Once again... not much to say today. Its spring forward today... teh worst day of the year. Is there anything worse than spring forward? They rob me of an hour. That was my hour. who are they to take it away from me? Any way, i'm here, at Stauf's, and trying to work on evidence. Its been going.... not great... but going. as always, im pretty distracted. so it goes. But I did take a pic....I just wish the shadow was more distinctive. That's what I was going for. oh well... what is special abou tthis book is that it waas my mom's.... back when she was still called "pereira." I know this because she signed her name in it.... that's pretty freaking awesome. But yeah..... not a whole lots been going on. I've really been needing break recently. I need to not be working on this bull shit. im burnt the fuck out. ugh.... any way... not much to say... i really just wanted to post the pic....

There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet.

pathetic-ness

Actually, maybe pathetic-ness is not the best word for it. More like just a brief update. I'm still at Stauff's... as you probably should know by now. And I was talking to Jay (a guy who hangs out here) and Karen walked in... and yes... crush has left me. The actual reason I'm posting this is that if you check my post from last Saturday, this is almost exactly, down to the minute, one week later. sigh.... interesting. I wish it were prettier out... id go and take pictures. I wish that I had the time too. I wish I owned WoW. Must.... Not.... Cave.... Stay.... Strong!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I may post again later. Back to TMs.

this pic is a little bit old too. but I'm really happy how it came out. no flash, as always, propped on a table, fucked up my hair to look as moody as possible. I love my digicam.

not much to say when you're high above the mucky muck

SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry... just had to get that out of the way. Went to see 300 last night. Pretty damn sweet. I mean, sure, you could drive a mack truck thru the holes in the story, but that's not the point. Anyone who knocks the movie for that deserves to be shot. because 300 is all about sweet action sequences. And hot chicks. And in that, it delivered.
We lost in the Colley Competition last night: this "trial skills competiton. We went up against like one of the better teams out there... soooo... and I dont really care abou twinning... sooo..... oh well. It was all together more fun than I thought it would be. any way... but we lost. which is good, because not I get to do work the rest of the weekend. of course, not right now... but soon...
I woke up this morning and there was the definate feel of spring. The air was heavy with rain that hadn't yet fallen. I think that's kinda cool: when you can feel the rain comming. Even if you were blind, you could tell.
Ugh... Im tired. I ate dinner last night at about 12midnight. Its going to be a hard fight to work today. I am very unmotivated. such a long day yesterday. we were in trail from about 430-730. ugh.
Today's pic is a sunset pic taken out of the back of my building. It came out ok. Its kinda an expirament. I think I'll post more later. maybe I'll take some pics while at Stauff's (where I am now, of course.). ok. to work

(Insert clever title here--perhaps one with a song lyric)

So the picture today is a little bit old. Actually, its a lot a bit old... almost exactly a year.... but its one of my all time favorites. I screwed around with Picasa to get it just right... and I just totally love it. I would have posted something new, but I have a lack of anything good. Cbus is not nearly as pretty as Allegheny. I know that is misspelled, but I dont really care.

Any way, today was a lot of work... I feel like cashing in my chips... I feel like says "you've beat me, law school.... i give." sigh...

Any way, I'm just lonely. I don't know why. It comes in waves. I go an entire weeked not feeling lonely, then a few days of school, and its back.

Whats a little odd is that i'm not at all depressed about the whole Karen thing. I mean, would I be happier if she had been more interested in me? Sure... but I really thought that I'd be waaaaay more sad about it. I can't figure it out.. ... part of me thinks that its because it was so liberating to actually ask someone out that my brain basically sees it as a mini-victory. A victory over my own stupidity, sure, but a victory nonetheless. Then, the other part of me thinks that that is maybe bullshit and the reason Im not depressed is because I assumed that she'd say no, and so when she did, I wasnt crushed.... that maybe it. eh... i dont really know. I will say to all you lonely guys out there... asking is officially better than not asking. and yes, i fully realize that im the only person reading this, but hey... that's okay too.....

Sigh, I dunno.... maybe I just need break. Maybe I shouldnt be depriving myself of wow. Maybe I should just run away. who knows?

I thought briefly about going to see the on-campus head shrink. Im not going to go... but...... I think I just want a friend who I can tell like important thoughts too. Guys dont always share feelings really well.... the people are law school are the equivalent of 'work buddies.' I think that's the only reason I want to date someone again.

there are 2 especially nice parts of dating (not including the whole sex aspect)... 1. having someone who cares if you wake up tomorrow morning. Sure, if I died, people would care... but I could lay dead in my bed for days before anyone would check on me. I remember when I was sick my senior year and marta came to visit me. That was nice.

2. someone to tell my concerns to who is not mom. Im sick of having mom as the person who is my counselor. I should have some sort of life of my own. I think that's why I talk about moving away all the time. I have some sort of blind belief that if I just go, there will be a life out there for me. but I know I'm deluding myself.

Allrighty.... this blog has been quite depressing. Im calling it here.... I'm only writing at this point because I dont want to do school work and I dont want to go to bed.

FUCK!!!! Im just feeling old and out of place....

Sigh.... Sunday... I am my own muse

Is it odd that most of the pictures I take are of me? I think its weird considering that I generally have a low self esteem. So, its not like, "i'm so hot, I need to take pictures of my hotness." It's more like, I dont have much to take pictures of, so, well, its me. I've had trouble really focusing today. Better than yesterday, but not great. Hence the reason I'm writing this. I went to see Zodiac yesterday. I really liked it. Great performances all around. Compelling story. Creepy. And of course, there is my little crush on Jakie-poo. He's dreamy. Any way, some writers have been complaining that it is too long and that there are too many plot lines. But I think that all the plot lilnes were exactly what was needed. You needed to tell the whole story. Not a chunk. It wouldnt have been nearly as compelling, as obsessive, as interesting if you only got the story from one point of view. Instead, the way it was put you right in the middle of the story/investigation. Really good. And it has renewed my faith in David Fincher after the debacle that was Panic Room. soooooooo..... yeah....
Anyhoo... as normal, I'm still obsessed with WoW. Andrew's last post isnt really helping. I must purge the demons. Oh.. I'm buying RAM for the 'puter to prepare for my WoW-stravaganza.... ugh... tummy rumbly. Need coffee