i wish i knew

Well, 2009 is over, i think officially. As if to ring in the lunar new year, nicole and i broke up, thus ending the worst year of my life. The hard part is that its not even a 'real' break up, because there was no animosity; nothing really wrong with us. We're just headed in different directions. and i don't think she wanted to be with me even if we were. it just wasn't going to work. oh well, that means more time spent on my explanation of everything. so, i've gotten back into philosophy, listening to a few philosophy podcasts and mentally preparing. on that note, i really think i should see a head doctor. ugh.... i haven't been happy for a continued period for as long as i can remember. ugh ugh ugh.