...and the stunning conclusion

Last time on Blog-o-licious

"totally awesome profiles on the readers of this blog"
"totally embarasing stuff about my siblings."
"shocking truths from the secret lives of my readers."

now... today's episode

Profiles part II: the friends

4. name: Kevin (middle name unknown so I'll guess) Maximus Mansfield
title: God among men
alternate title: Gods gift to women
alternate alternate title: book slave
alternate alternate alternate title: Short stack
Place of birth: duunno--Bedford?
current residence: Bedfo' OH
eyes: brown (?)
hair: brown (that seems like a trend here)
likes: lo fi music, harry and the potters, agmfsfb, comics, felafal, chillin' with a little bit of illin', freaks and geeks, david lynch, long walks on the beach with himself
dislikes: borders, borders customers, david pildner (note the juxtoposition with david lynch. I rule).
quote: "you wouldn't like me when im Ang Lee... HOOOOO COUNT IT!!!!"

Know to his friends as "lord of the dance," Kevin is one of the kewlest cats in the world. Right now he's slumming with the of us plebians while he awaits his discovery, subsequent debut, and fame and fortune. Hopefully he'll remeber us little people on his meteoric rise to fame, followed by his catastrophic fall from glory in a drug and alcohol induced bender where he kills three children, two fish, and a beaver. Watch for him on VH1's I love the '07s and Behind the Music.

5. Name: Nooree (middle name unknown, so I'll guess) "I rule" Kim
title: coolest kid on the the block
place of birth: somewhere in Korea (?)
current residence: somewhere near columbus (?)
eyes: black
hair: raven black (not like Stephen's brown-black... real black here)
Likes: hanging out, watching Korean drama (what I imagine to be soap operas), spending time with her family, traveling, long walks from her car to the law school
Dislikes: things that suck, probably this list
quote: "your blog is really bitter"

The newest (and final) addition to our illustrious list of readers, Nooree is gearing up to be a high powered attorney, kicking ass and taking names one ass at a time. Catching our hero off guard by telling him that she acutally reads this drivel, she is a welcom addition to our cast of misfits, miscreants, and superstars. Welcome her, but watch out: burried under that calm and collected exterior, a tiger awaits to erupt at a moments notice. grrrr.

whew... i need to do some work now. i really enjoyed writing this.. i hope you all liked reading it. I miss being creative.

Holy crap in a hat; or, none of this would have been possible without...

So... I learned a wonderful thing today. Ready... excited?

I have a new reader to Blog-o-licious. And to think, I made fun of Kathryn for suggesting that someone else would waste his/her time my drivel/rants/whining/thought.... But, once long ago, I dropped the URL to this blog to my friend Nooree and apparently she reads occasionally. So, everyone say hello to Nooree....

When I started this blog, I was thinking about doing a quick mock-profile on my new reader both so that the rest of you knew who she was and to see if she was actually reading... but I realized that that wouldn't be nice... unless of course, i embarassed everyone else who reads Blog-o-licious as well... so here goes...

part 1: the family

1. name: Kathryn Elizabeth Wolfson
title: Golden child
place of birth: solon ohio
current residence: los angeles.
eyes: blue
hair: brown with lots of fake colors in it
Likes: sitting around, eating sandwiches that mom made, working out, david beckham, soccer players in general, star bloggs, clementines, crappy 19th century novels, long walks on the beach with guys named geoge
dislikes: california drivers
quote: "I'm Naaaaaaaapppppping!!!!"
Born a short 3 years after our hero (Stephen), her life growing up was quite a bit different than his. She went to a different high school, was athletic, wasn't particularly angsty, and was generally loved by all. Indeed, those things remain to this day. But don't underestimate her; this chick is one complex Kat (as her non-Wolfson friends call her). And sure as shit she'll cu tyou down where you stand if you piss her off. Rowr.


2. name: Andrew Joseph Wolfson
Title: the cute one (tho he would deny it... I've known many who would agree with this title)
place of birth: solon ohio
current residence: splits his time between chagrin falls, oh and meadville PA--but he's an Ohioian no matter what.
eyes: brown (he hides them behind glasses, tho)
hair: dark brown.
likes: gaming, YT breakfasts, crossword puzzles (tho, he would deny this... I know in his heart of hearts that he likes them), greek gods, video games, good music, good movies, this chicken recipe that mom has dubbed 'andrew's chicken', anime, Libby
dislikes: stupidity, bad music, bad movies, when stephen tries to force him to do things he doesn't want to do (sorry), school, probably this list
quote: 'Everytime you open your mouth you prove again how much of an idiot you are.'
alternate quote: "see you space cowboy"

Born 7 years after our hero, Andrew, the youngest wolfson, has serious potential to kick ass and take names (though he would deny that as well). Smart, funny, and cute, 2008 should prove to be a big year for Andrew as he is finally getting the hell out of college. Go forth and prosper, young man.

3. Stephen Manuel Wolfson (yes, i read my own blog. is that lame?)
title: the crazy, out-there one
place of birth: Chicago, IL (THAT'S RIGHT!!!!!! NOT OHIO!!!!!)
current residence: columbus, OH
eyes: blue-green (my driver's license says 'hazel' but I don't actually know what that means
hair: flowing dark brown (some say black) locks--sampson ain't got shit on me
likes: blogging, reading, movies, music, video games, YT breakfasts, biking, dreaming, long walks on the beach with guys named george
dislikes: law school, stupid people, christian contemporary music, country music
quote: i need to get out of ohio

On December 31,1978, 3 weeks before he was due, Stephen decided that he needed to be born in 1978 (screw that 1979 shit). So, despite a blizzard, and despite the debaucherous party that his parents were surely attending (not really), he said "mom, I'm comming out now, so get ready." since this singular fortuitous event, tho, his life has been one folly after the other, leading to today, where he is alone, lonely, and horribly unmotivated by life and school.

stop by tomorrow for the continued post... I need to do some gender law stufff

I'm mildly disturbed right now

You know that you are pathetic, and that you have no food in your house, when you are sitting in front of your computer screen, scraping the remaining dregs from a peanut butter jar with a spoon, and blogging about how pathetic it is. mmmmmm... nutrition

Hot Rod; or, "Holy shit! It's actually funny!

First, Jessica Biel officially needs to stop working out. She's hot and all, but she's getting just a little too buff. Tuff is cool. "I'm going to kick your fucking ass" is not.

So, I went to see Hot Rod yesterday, and I've officially been surprised 2 times this week by movies. I'm not saying that this was anywhere near Stardust, but it was pretty damn funny. I doubt it will stand up to multiple viewings like Dodgeball, but it was good enough.

The movie is sorta a parody of 80's cheez flicks. But "parody" is really not quite the right word. It more just IS an 80's cheez flick... but at the same time, it is aware of how inane it truly is. And therein lies its genius. (I love that phrase). Hot Rod consciously uses the conventions of those movies, grabs them, loves them, and makes them seem like they were intended to be jokes and somewhat seriously done at the same time.

Andy Samberg plays Rod, your standard "loser" character. He lives with his parents, challenges his step-father to fightes periodically (to "earn his respect"), and dreams of being a great stunt man like his father. Going further into the movie is probably pointless, as you can already guess everything that happens from the word go. But that's not a bad thing here. There is even an absolutely amazing homage to footloose that is worth seeing the movie for. Kathryn, you need to see this. You will wet your pants. I shit you not.

I've liked Andy Samberg now for about a year--after first seeing the Natalie Portman rap on SNL. Since, Dick in a box is quite simply one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Kevin, for some reason only know to him, doesn't find it as funny, but I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. And he does really good here because he is so fully committed to the movie. Its a little like my first comments about Anchorman. I didn't really like the movie at first, But I loved how into the characters and the idea of the movie everyone was. Here, the cast is so totally enjoying themselves and so playing up the stupidity of everything that it is awesome. (Did I mention that there is what can only be a Captain Planet reference in it).

Isla Fisher is in it as well. She plays the predictable girl-next-door-who-has-always-loved-our-her-but-now-is-dating-some-douche
but-comes-around-and-the-whole-time-you-think-to-yourself-
"why teh fuck is this nice girl with that asshole?" Well,the answer is because girls fall for assholes. I don't know why, but its fucking true. But that's for another post.

So, anyway, Hot Rod was really funny. Kathryn, see it.

Today, I'm pretending that school isn't happening. Tomorrow I have to start my readings. Today, no. Today, I'm reading some valis, maybe some of this Star Wars Novel I just bought. and finally, I'm going to the midnight release of Superbad. I have high hopes for that movie.

I really am a little conflicted about school starting. About the year in general. Im sad that I'll probably be leaving Columbus in a year's time. And I really do like it here. I'll love my coffee shop. I like riding my biek everywhere. I like Phil and Suzi and Sean and Andy.... Meanwhile, i'm totally unmotivated for school. Unmotivated isn't the right word. More like, annoyed. its like--offending--to me that I have to be in class with the law bull shit.

GRE is scheduled for oct 9. Oct 9. Tuesday of break. scared.

As you've undoubtedly noticed, I changed the template for my blog... Also, I added a preview feature. What do you guys think? I guess I'm out. GRE studying then some reading.

A brief thought or two

I've been thinking about self censorship again. I've written about it a few times in my various blogs, but it has come to mind one more time. I was speaking with someone yesterday, and I mentioned my blog's URL to her. And shortly thereafter, I realized that I have blogged about her, and maybe not in the most positive light. (No Kathryn, its not you... I only have kind, nice things to say about my favorite sister in the whole world). And I thought briefly about being careful about what I have to write here....about not mentioning names and stuff.... but then I said fuck that. My blog is my thoughts.... if you can't handle that go the fuck away... period.

So, I'm trying out some simple HTML for blogging that I've looked at. I hope it works. is this bold?

Oh, and I put in another pic of Claire Danes. This one is from Shopgirl. I really dug that movie... and, well, I like looking at her.

And is this a link to wikipedia ?

Stardust; or, why I'll never be truly happy

I saw Stardust last night and was quite pleased with it. Now, I'm a total sucker for all things swords and sorcery. And, I'm an even bigger sucker for all things Claire Danes. So, one could argue that I am a little biased toward liking this movie. And certainly that is a fair argument. But, I can't stand Michelle Pfieffer (unless, of course, its Batman Returns). And Robert DeNiro is pretty much hit-or-miss for me. And, I was pretty skeptical of the movie, 'cause, quite frankly, it looked like it was going to suck. But instead, I really liked it. But, at the same time, it made me melancholy, as I so often am.

The story was pretty simple story-book fare. Guy from the real world ventures out beyond the wall of his town "Wall" to find a magical world. While there, he impregnates someone who claims to be a trapped princess. 9 months or so later, a baby shows up at his doorstep. Say hello to our hero, Tristan. Tristan starts the movie totally infatuated with this total bitch named Victoria who ignores, uses, and generally messes with him.

One night while Tristan was trying to mac Victoria (aparently trying to get her drunk enough to get with him), they see a star fall. Hero-boy promisses that he will retrieve the star for his bitch-fantasy if she will marry him.

Meanwhile, there is this nasty king (played by Peter O'Toole) off in Magicland (or whatever it was called) who had set his sons on a quest to become the next king: the son who gets this magic jewel thing is the winner. Also, the sons like to kill each other to better their chances of being king. Fun stuff. Anyway, That jewel knocks the star out of the sky that Tristan and bitch see fall.

Meanwhile, a trio of witches see the star fall as well. Michelle Pfeiffer (head witch) sets out to find the star too because it will restore her beauty and youth...

So Tristan goes to get the star and finds Claire Danes. Of course, she is the fallen star. It takes him a bit to catch on, but he does and they set out to go back to Bitch. They have mad-cap adventures, fall for each other, Tristan pulls his head out of his ass and decides he like Claire Danes, and, after some fighting and magic and stuff, they live happily ever after.

Charlie Cox, who plays Tristan, doesnt really ease into his role until about 1/2 thru... but when he does, he's pretty good. Catwoman was annoying, as usual, but bareable. DeNiro was good enough... amusing even. Rickie Gervais has a little part. But, of course, it was Claire Danes that I loved. I can't help it.... there is something about the way she can look and smile that just melts me. She even put on a fishy brittish accent that wasn't too bad... normally brittish accents by american actors are real bad. But her's was good enough. And she had some well-written snarkey dialogue. But it was just her that I loved. Just Claire Danes being Claire Danes.

But this was the problem with the movie for me. I realized how much I loved the fantasy. And how much I dreamed of meeting some gorgeous Star Claire Danes and and falling in love and defeating evil and living happily ever after. I don't really care about the king stuff.... But that'd be nice too. Oh, I forgot to mention, the ending is a bit....spaceballs-ish. Anyway.... I realized that I'm a dreamer. I an a voyeur. That's why I love movies: so I can escape my boring ass real life for 2 hours. So I can pretend to be the 'normal' boy who unlocks his inner-self and finds his belle and all that jazz. But its just not real... its not true... its not me. My life is angst and worry and boredom. Not magic and mystery.

I also realize that as much as I love Claire Danes and would give up my life for her (my mental image of her, that is), I feel slightly betrayed. My love stems directly from My So-Called Life. That show was Muy Excellente and Angela Chase was my girl--she was how I felt in girl form. Awkward. Confused. Lonely yet not alone. All that good stuff. But Claire Danes now is none of that. She is accomplished, beautiful, loved... all the stuff I can't really identify with. And yes, I realize that I am making judgements based on false perceptions stemming from fictional characters.... but these are observations on my mental process. Now, the Claire Danes/Angela Chase that I loved is no longer the girl who was perfect for Stephen. Now, she is fantasy. And I watch voyeuristicallly. I watch and dream... but I am too much of a pessimist/realist to get too carried away. I know its not realy. I know its not my life.... and so I get sad because I will never be truely happy. I'm a dreamer. I like to dream. I like it. But its hard at times....

Well.... this is the first post in a while, and I think its a good one.... I hope someone reads it. but it doesnt really matter.