not quite done, a little ashamed

I'm sad to say that I'm not quite done with my sex and the city journey. I have 1 more episode to watch and then the movie. I got stalled because I've been really down for the past several days. I got to take a trip down to columbus on monday under the guise of seeing an apartment. But in reality I just wanted to see some friends and get out of chagrin for the day. and I did and that was nice. But since, more rejection slips keep rolling in and every one is another straw on my already broken back. I'm not good with rejection. I wonder if i should even try. should i just give up? at this point, once again, i think it would have been smarter to stay at borders and work in that system than where i am now. But I sort of always make the wrong decision. I don't really understand why I worked hard in school if this is what it has turned into. I also wish that anyone thought the work i've done researching mattered at all. I mean, I've realized at this point it that peopel think of it about as worthwhile as doing nothing. I guess. So I have no experience for things that I'm educated to do and too much education for the things i'm experienced at doing. Borders won't even give me a job right now. I know. I applied with them.

this is not a fun kind of unemployment. this is not the kind where i can enjoy my lack of schedule or responsiblities. because all i do is worry about the impending doom of december. bday and loans due. and keep applying for anything i see. i need to get out of here.