odd

I'm oddly compelled to get rid of all my dad's clothes. I remember when my Vovo (my portuguese grandpa) died, and my Nana wanted to get rid of all his stuff right away. Will i regret it? Mom wants to get me fitted for some of dad's suits...but i doubt they'll fit. He was a bit bigger than me. And it's a little weird. but maybe it won't be weird.

Today I've been really odd. I've been grumpy all day and my voice seems to have left me. we went out to breakfast this morning and I sort of freaked out. I dont know what's wrong with me.

Mom's going thru pictures right now. Picture seem to be fun and cathartic for them; for me its very sad. They were looking at pictures of me at 1. I'm really sad dad will never get to see me with a real job, with kids of my own, with a life of my own.

I need to stop dwelling. But not today; maybe tomorrow.