confused zor

So, it's 2am and Im just getting home. Normally, I'd consider that a good thing. And it's defintitely not a bad thing. But i'm a little confused. So, I've been avoiding posting about her because I didn't really think that it mattered at all. And now that i think that it doesnt matter at all even more, I've decided to post for real...There is this girl... Sarah... and we've been getting along great. and She encouraged me to come out tonight. and it was great. I had a lot of fun. But i'm super confused right now. I thought at first the reason that she asked me out was that she was she was interested in me. Now, i think it may be that she just likes me 'as a friend' as they say. Which is ok. I like friends. I like girls being my friends. But the problem is that i got hope. Normally, I really good at shooting down hope as soon as it pokes its nasty head up there. Normally I shoot down any sexual feelings I have, any stupid crushes, and just go with the fact that 'she doesnt like me like that... but this girl... this one.. her... I couldn't.... and tonight I think was a definite downer for me. I mean, I had a good time... but well, I was hoping (there is that damn hope again) for evidence of something more. And well... I just took her friend home and am about to go to bed.... and the last thing she said to me was "you're nice to go out with." There is this other guy too who clearly was intersted in her... and I can't tell what to do... Aaron... I should just say something... I should do it... because if I don't, i'm just going to go nuts... ugh.. why does this all have to be so complex? I like her.... I'd like to spend more time with her... I just don't want anything to get weird.... I'd like her to like me back.... but i need to start living in reality... things are not like that.... I'm back to being Duckie... I'm the eccentric friend who doesnt get molly ringwald. And that's ok...but it can be a little lonely... .ultimately a little lonely. I'd like a friend... but I haven't had a girl friend in years.... and not one that i really cared about deeply in even longer.... and well, its making me sad.... I'm old... I want someone to want me... what's wrong with me... I make friends... people seem to like me... but no girl... I'm tired. I'm not sober... I'm going to bed.