LA, first impressions

Well, i'm veyr tired from traveling, but I should really try to do some work for prof merritt, so instead of either a. napping or b. doing work, what am i doing? typing here. But i figure this is slightly important. First, I love Palm trees. I'm sure its because they are so foreign to me, but I dunno, as soon as I got off the fly away in Van Nyes and saw the palm trees, I was instantly happy. it was like a signal that I was here. The weather right now is pretty much perfect. Its sunny and low 70s with a gentle breeze. im thinking I'll go for a run or a walk or something... but the aforementioned work is going to get in the way. for a little anyway.

On my flight, I was thinking that I can't decide whether its good or bad that I can't seem to shut off my mind. Even at night...when I have these crazy dreams that I dont really feel comfortable sharing with anyone. They can get pretty crazy. But during waking hours, I'm constantly pondering whatever comes in my mind. Its one reason I think i like people watching. Because I can thinking about them a bit, maybe think about what they're doing, their story, whatever. The downside is that when I want to not think, I can't. I go over things, past events, thousands of times in my head. Could I have done somethign differently. Could thinks be different. How would they be if they were different. Perhaps that's why i like time travel stories so much. But I wonder, am I not giving peopel enough credit. Is everyone like me, mind constantly racing? or do people actually have moments where their minds are quiet? And would I like it if i could quiet my mind. Sure, I think it makes me more socially aloof than most--the fact that my mind won't shut up--but I think its something about me that I actually like. Even if it does make me more aloof. I think i'm getting better at pretending not to be aloof, but i still am.

While driving from teh airport to where i was to meet Kathryn, I was thinking that LA is perhaps the perfect example of how I feel that my life is very dichotomous. At the very same time i felt annoyed and partially repulsed by all the pollution, construction, excess, everything everywhere I also felt intrigued amused and excited by it. I think, this is an ultimate statement of humanity conquering nature--a gi-freaking-gantic metropolis. I saw somethign I call "urban tumbleweed" blow across the highway (a piece of litter) and think, how amazing is it that some beings that started as monkey's in trees built all this concrete and retail shopping. And I want every gadget and toy every made. Then, at the very same time, I want to retreat to the middle of nowhere and start my farm and get off the grid... I love stuff but I hate it. I'm lonely but I deeply value my alone time. so many thoughts. I should do some work