this is awesome

this song is awesome. please, listen and then make yourself a twitter and then follow molly. she's pretty excelente.

why i dislike lent

Ok... so normally I try to be live and let live with organized religion. It's no secret that I don't agree with Catholicism on many many things, but I try not to complain about those things to people who actually believe in them. It's not my job to proselytize. and to be fair, the start of my phenomenology (which is starting today, tomorrow, or monday) is that people are god-seeking beings. One way or another, I think we as humans have this problem with able to understand that the world existed before us and will exist after us and we can't handle the thought of non-existence. And so we seek for something eternal. Some explanation. some something that's grater than ourselves. SO we find god or religion or sports teams (seriously... it's the only reason i can understand why people watch baseball--because of the stats. So they can say "my grandfather saw joe dimagio play when he was in the war." That's true, by the way; my grandfather did see joe dimagio play. But anyway, baseball is real real boring. So that's the only reason I can understand for its almost hallowed state it holds for so many peopl). Anyway, Lent is one thing that I just can't handle and I tend to trash talk a lot. but i have a reason.

If you don't know, lent is the season from Ash Wednesday(the day after mardi gras) to Easter. And its a time for solemnity and spirituality and sacrifice. and all that's fine. But it's also when millions of Catholics decide to "give something up for lent" and stop eating meat on fridays as (a sacrifice). This right here is where my problems start to arise. In 1994, I remember one friday night during lent I was hanging out with some friends and we decided to go get some food at Burger king. I was still eating meat at the time, and we all ordered Whoppers. And I remember it being good. really good. then, later in the evening tho, I remember all of a sudden feeling terrible. I just realized that I had eaten meat on a friday during lent. and I was ashamed. I felt like I'd done something really wrong. Honestly. I was afraid I had sinned. Scarred. really scarred. Then, a few minutes later, I thought to myself: wait, this is dumb. Any religion that tells you that you've done something wrong (and trust me, I went to school with nuns and they would tell me i had sinned) and makes you feel afraid because you eat meat on a friday during a 40 day period in the year is bunk. If 'god' is supposed to be omni-benevolent and understand humans more than humans understand themselves, then he can understand our human failings as well. but catholicism doesn't really believe in an omni benevolent god. nope. catholic school teaches you that every sin is punished by god and you have to seek forgiveness or screwed you are. and by screwed, i mean, get too many of those, and its an eternity of burning torment. sucks.... anyway, that 1994 burger from burger king was actually when i started losing my religion. or perhaps it was start toward hell, right? interesting.

anyway... if I still believed and practiced catholicism, i always wonder if during lent, i should actually eat meat as a sacrifice on fridays. after all, i've been a veggie for about 10 years now... i dont sacrifice anything by not eating meat. thankfully, i dont have to worry about that. I'm pretty sure I won't be magically believing anytime soon.

porland

Well.. here I am, still in portland, but sorta getting ready to leave. I spent most of the day wandering around the city. I went in powell's, two music stores, ate a gigantic donut (yeast raised, glazed wtih chocolate and peanut butter, and then covered in crushed oreos), ate a gigantic piece of vegan pizza, rode the train in and out, and now i'm in my hotel room chilling out. I'm pretty damn tired. Portland is a cool city; pretty much exactly what i expected out of it, tho larger than I thought it would be. not quite as trendy as i expected. I don't understand the layout or anything, but what I saw was pretty cool. Can I imagine living out here? Yes.... lots of bikers, which is good for me... but to be honest, i'm exceedingly lonely right now. I was crazy for coming out here. I had a great cup of coffee at a place called "stumproasters" and it was a pretty damn amazing cup of coffee. But the place itself wasn't nearly as cool as Stauf's. Stauf's continues to be just a comfortable hangout.

I listened in as some pilot dude trash talked Obama. He was pissed because Obama wants to tax him so he can pay for healthcare for the country. I will never, ever, understand what people have against health care for everyone. Is it strange to think that its good for a government to care for its people? Is that weird? What's wrong with caring for people? Sometimes we can't do it ourselves, and so the government can provide. Of course, I DID live in a commune for 2 years... Which is why I can never hold elective office; they'll just assume i'm a commie.

Anyway, i didn't yell at the guy, dumbass that he is. He was talking about ways to "hide" money so he wouldn't have to pay taxes on it. I shit you now. "Hide" is the word he used. How about this: You realize that if you pay some more in taxes, and the government then returns that money to you in services (like healthcare) you actually have a net SAVINGS! dumbass.

Anyway, I bought a CD, and it's amazing. I'm sad to leave, but I'm happy to get the chance to see people again. I hope to get down to the bus this weekend. Phil's bday. Hang out with Nooree if she's free....maybe try to catch up with Suzi and Sean... but of course, i'm roped into partying with Zach as well.

God I hope i passed. God I dont want to fill out the ap for Ohio, but i'm doing it anyway... maybe it's for the best... maybe i was never supposed to be out here.... maybe this was my chance and I blew it. who knows.

portland

probably my favorite soul coughing song. Soul coughing is really really one of those bands that's not for everyone...which i always kinda find funny since I think they're great. How can everyone not love them? I suppose it has something to do with the dischordant sounds, strange, nonsensical lyrics, strange beats... all that... but Doughty's voice is just great

the cure won't let me embed their videos for some reason known only to god. So I'll just link a song here. This is my next album, i think

get off my ass

I need to get off my ass if im going to apply for another bar exam.... just in case. Ohio's date is april 1. ugh. god i hope i passed.

terrified

I'm terrified. i kinda wish i had never come out here. never taken the bar at all. I feel very much like a failure right now.

well..

well... i'd say my likelihood of passing is about 50/50. seriously. everyone says i'm just worrying, but they weren't sitting with me taking the test. It didn't feel good. and now... i need to think about applying again, just in case... because i really think it didn't work out.

here goes day 2

Well... day 1 went... well...who knows. I think i screwed up on 1-2 questions, and the MPT has some bad spelling errors becasue i couldn't spell check... but hopefully I'll have done well enough to pull me through with an average of passing. today is the MBE; i'm about to head down. and my stomach is really upset. i didn't sleep well last night because I was agonizing over the exam. At least the good thing about multi choice is you have even less of an idea of how you did. It's soooo scaled. The essays I think it's a little easier to tell when you messed up. Oh well... 6 hours of multi-choice is pretty exhausting... i need to get set.... so it goes

here goes nothing

well... I stopped studying about 2 hours ago... i'm going to read one thing over before bed and then, off to bed. I keep trying to tell myself that because of the score adjustments, I only really have to get about 1/2 of each essay. I can do that, right? ugh.

on an aside, someone anonmyous left a comment on my last blog. First, i dont know who it is. So if i know, you, please come forward and tell me who you are. Second, thanks. I appreciate it. thanks. And knock on wood for me tomorrow and wednesday.

Im out... i'm going to lay down and try to sleep. I just have to keep to the basics and write down what i know and hope i get some points out of it.

man....

So, I freaked out a bit earlier. I was totally not doing well on any of my con law practice exams. I'd been doing so much better earlier, I don't know what happened. I've since calmed down, tho, I'd like to do some more tonight. I'm really tired and I don't know what I'm doing here. It's so odd and foreign. I shouldn't have just come here. I should have just sucked it up and stayed in ohio....Or gone somewhere that made more sense to go. but instead I had to be stupid. oh crap am i nervous.

I'm really tired. I'm trying to force myself to stay awake for a bit longer because I want to be on Oregon time, about...bt man... I don't know if I can last much longer.

I'm so lonely right now.... I'm so burnt out and scared and all i want to do is at least talk to anyone i know.. but everyone's far away.

God am i scared.

ok.... gotta do one more essay.

well...

well... studying is almost pointless. I'm going to go thru the big subject today and tomorrow, but really, thats just to refresh myself of the stuff that's been forced out as i've tried to squeez in a little more tax. God I hope this goes well. I'm burnt out. and I need it done. leaving very soon. have to make some phone calls tonight. ugh. back to a practice testipoo.

holy crap in a hat

I'm still hung up on that little girl. she makes me want to buy a PC...seriously. Justin long and john hodgman got nothin' on her.

I just finished 15 practice essays. about about 1/2 hour each, that's liek 7 hours of essays today. holy crap in a hat. I hope it helps. I feel like, if they just ask me stuff i kinda know, i'll be fine. if they ask me stuff I dont know, i'm screwed... yea?

And kathryn mentioned my soft spot for lisa loeb. that's true. I think it's probably the glasses. That and I can't handle it when uber-cute girls have guy problems. Here'e my belief: uber cute girls should not have guy problems. there's plenty of us good guys out there looking for you; we just may be shy and think you're far too uber-cute for us. uber-cute girl and good guys should never have to worry about girl or guy troubles. we should just suck it up and stop being shy and you all should just understand its tuff for us shy guys. Kathryn's a good example. She's objectively uber-cute. she should never have guy troubles. yet, she seems to have way more than she should. how is that possible? how is it possible that grammy winner (i think she won) and one time pop starlet lisa loeb has to have a whole tv show about her guy problems? I dont get it...I don't get it at all.

anyway, gotta get back to work.

loves it

Needed a pick me up before starting to work. Lisa here helped a little. The video's actually kinda neat, looking at it now. one huge take, some difficult blocking for the camera to follow. kinda neat. and she was about 10 years ahead of everyone with her fashion.

holy crap loads of cuteness, batman

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:533e05d2-9f12-4a86-bdda-efd0455fcd36&amp;showPlaylist=true&amp;from=shared" target="_new" title="Kylie uses Windows Live Photo Gallery">Video: Kylie uses Windows Live Photo Gallery</a>

This may be the cutest thing i've ever seen. I think if I were to ever meet this little girl, I'd be reduced to a babbling mess of "awwwww" and "ohmygodhowadorable."

argh!

I can't keep this all in my head!!! every thing i learn pushes something else out!!! argh!!!!!

my next uke

beautiful, yea.

This is pretty bizzarely genius. Can you tell why i like it?

I wish I had more artistic talent, or access to camera equipment, special effects, and final cut pro. It must be great to just let your imagination run wild and be able to actually create something with it. And still, the story is pretty simple.

back to being nervous

There's just so much to know. I'm getting lost in what i don't know. its a scary scary thing. i'm just sitting down to do some essays; just got back from lunch. There's this guy who is always around when I take lunch. normally he eats with this guy who looks a lot like a cross between Michael Stanly or Michael Mcdonald. And he has a silly mustache. All mustaches are silly. My dad has a mustache and its sill. Very few people can pull them off without looking like a porn star or a cop. My dad does ok, but only because I haven't seen his upper lip since i was born. He grew in his beard when he was around 30. I can't grow a bear. but that's ok. beards are silly too. not quite as silly, and more people can pull them off, but silly nevertheless. And does anyone else think that the goatee is the porn-stache of the 2000s? Everyone and their brother seems to have them today and, again, most people do not look particularly good with them, i think. Jason does. and Tony... and guys with weak chins.

Anyway, today, i saw the guy with the 'stache looking around like he was looking for the other guy. but then i saw the other guy eating with someone else. and the guy with the 'stache went away. I felt like I was watching the non-stache guy (he has a bad beard) cheating on the stache guy. ha.

Tired Stephen is Tired

In exactly 1 week, i'll be in Portland. that means, I pretty much have 1 week left of studying, because I doubt I'll get good studying done next sunday or monday.

I'm too tired right now to form coherent thoughts. but I'd like to do just a little more work, so I'm trying to get a second wind going. Right now I'm at the point where i have pretty good recognition and decent recall, but my pure memorization stinks. I realize that I stopped memorizing in law school sometime during second year, and started relying a lot more on my outlines and crazy-awesome tabbing organization.

But, I've started to think of another mix tape for someone. This one is a collection of 12 of my cheeziest songs. It was originally intended to be a valentine's day thing, but with the power outage, that didn't happen. So its getting pushed back to after the bar. I want to keep it to 12, because more than that could get obnoxious. And I want to have cheesy songs that are also (i think) good. Like untitled by the cure (see above). The lyrics are crazy-cheezy (like so many cure songs), but i still think the song is pretty amazing (not surprisingly, it comes from disintegration...one of the best albums ever).... originally, this song was on the list, but I've cut it because I think it's just a little too long... And besides, I've got so many others to choose from. (I think mint car is probably the winner).



but who knows.... she'll find out when I give it to her.

I love making mix tapes. I was watching some clips from High Fidelity (one of mine and Kathryn's favorite movies) the other day, and there's a discussion of making mixed tapes in that movie (and in the book) which rings pretty true. The danger of it is that you tend to reveal a little too much of yourself in the tape. But that's the fun...What does it say? ordinarily when I make a mixed tape, I get rid of the track list so that it only exists for that person at that time. Every one, in that, is a little bit special. special to me, that is. I'm pretty sure they aren't special to the people I give them to, but they're special to me; I put way more work into a mixed tape than I should.

Thinking of it now, I don't think I've ever had a mixed tape made for me. hmmmm... that's not really a problem... i just think it's odd. I've given out a lot.

I continue to love Aldrine

This song is waaaaay cheesy. but ya know what, it's sorta cute too. :)