This post is dedicated to all my friends out there who may be reading this. I realized a few things about my good friends that separates them from sorta run of the mill people I know. You'll know who you are as soon as I start writing about this. First, my bestest friends are not scared off by my rabid geekiness. I realize that I am a geek thru and thru. The things I like I LOVE; the things I hate I HATE!!! But what's a little weird for me is that this seems to scare people off. And I don't quite get that, but people seem to be bothered when I start going off on some movie that I love (yes... this often means Star Wars.... but really, I feel passionately about a lot of other things).... And people seem genuinely bothered by my feelings... but i dont get it.... that's just me... but see, Kevin, Andrew, you guys aren't scared... That's just me... I think its part of my charm. I mean, I think more people should have acqute feelings. People who tend to be wishy washy annoy me. People especially find it strange when I go off about how much I hate something. This I understand better. People generally dont like to hear things ripped apart... But hey... that's me... If you are on my bad side, you're fucked.
Another quality of my friends (and another thing that seems to weird people out) is my tendency to say a lot of things that think are jokes, but people often think I'm serious. Its my delivery... I tend to say things jokingly more seriously than I say jokes, i guess... but that's whats nice about you guys... you keep up with me... I may switch from "DUDE, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO" whatever to something on a totally different topic back to whatever... then on... Andrew, I expect you to keep up.... after all you've known me forever.... But Kevin, I think that's why our conversations seem odd to observers... because we continually switch topics, levels of seriousness, whatever....
Any way.... These are my rambeling thoughts... Andrew wrote that I'm much less difficult to get along with than I think I am. I guess he's right... I try really hard to be nice. but I do think that my personality is ultimately hard to swallow. I just dont have boring/basic emotions... I just don't. I have huge emotions... Im a geek. I love it. I love getting DEEP into things... and I dont see myself changing... and Im happy about that... Andrew and I dont change.... we stay pretty constant... the world changes around us....... I like that. Growing up doesnt have to mean giving up. This guy at school today was talking about work and jokingly was talking about playing softball with his firm over the summer (that part is tru. they have a summer league). And he said somethign about getting what it would be like if he got yelled at by his boss for not turning a double play. And he said he'd just take it. I wouldn't. I turn and say fuck you and leave... that is what we should stand for.... He said yeah, but i have a family and I need a job and the money and shit. and I say, you need yourself before anything. you'll find another job... fuck assholes and fuck any job where you have to suck dick just to make a pay check... I'm never going to be a lawyer.
wow... where did that come from?
Im pretty tired... I need to do a little more school work before going to bed....ugh
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3 comments:
I like having my own tag in your blog. It's definitely a weird feeling though.
I dunno why people get thrown by other people's feelings about the stupidest stuff. Maybe it's weird to feel passionately about Star Wars, but there's certainly worse things to be passionate about. People's problem is that they take other people's views to seriously -- as if other's views affect their own. You hardly need to surround yourself with like-minded people just to get along. Look at me and Ted. Maybe you're more verbose about your thoughts than others, but the stuff you generally go off on should largely be inconsequential to people's feelings towards you -- i.e. which Star Wars film is best or something.
And meandering conversations? I just assumed that's how people talk. I'm a pretty linear thinker, but I hardly have linear discussions with my friends. I gather people are confused about how serious we are. Joking tones seem to translate oddly to other people sometimes. Weird that we never really have problems.
And we don't change, no. Because screw that. I shouldn't have to change to accommodate the world. People should just be allowed to be people.
Neither of you will ever get a job.
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